frustration

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

ugh. I normally try to avoid nasty blogs about venting and stuff but this one cannot be avoided. It feels like everyone I know is mad at me. [Ellen] is mad at me because we broke up, [Karen] is mad at me because she thinks that my car being broken made her lose hours at her job. My mom and Dad are mad at me because I haven't gotten my car fixed, [Jessica]'s mad at me because I didn't tell her everything about [Ellen] and I getting back together right away. The really hard part about all of it is that these are the people I was trying not to upset, and I was trying really freaking hard. I broke up with [Ellen] and afterward I felt bad because she said she felt like I abandoned her, hat I just left her without giving her the decency of a conversation about it. So we talked on the phone and I decided to give it all another shot to be fair. The truth is, I didn't have high hopes for our relationship, and I told her that, I asked what she thought would happen if we broke up again, and she said it would be easier for her to accept. Wednesday, my birthday, [Jessica] asked how my "[Ellen]-free" life was going while we were at dinner with my family at a restaurant. I didn't tell her that we were back together because :

1) we were in a resteraunt on my birthday.

2)I didn't think it was a good idea to start telling people we were back together when I anticipated that we would be seperate again soon. It seemed to me like that would be harder for [Ellen] and I to have to deal with.

So I avoided it that night by talking about the messages she'd sent me calling me names and yelling at me. That weekend [Ellen] and I got into a fight and I needed to talk to her about our relationship again, to tell her I didn't think it was going to work. Also that weekend, [Jessica] and Matt broke up, on Saturday. Saturday night I went to the musical show with her family and worked on my car. On sunday, [Ellen] came over really mad at me and told me it was through. All this week I've either been in bartending school or at school. [Jessica] and I only have theatre or lunch together. I certainly wasn't going to talk about it then, and I didn't want to have to be cut off. We were supposed to hang out Friday (doubtful now) so I figured it would come up then. Of course someone beat me to it, so now she thinks I've been hiding it from her, and doesn't believe that I was going to tell her tomorrow. [Karen] thinks that I'm intentionally needing the car so that she doesn't have a vehicle to use to go to work, and blames me when her boss says she doesn't want to inconvenience her while we have transportation issues. These issues of course are completely my fault, and my Mom and Dad are frustrated with me because I haven't been able to fix it yet.

I'M FREAKING SORRY! I'M UNDER A LOT OF FREAKING STRESS PLEASE TRY AND UNDERSTAND!

GUHSgh I feel so frustrated.

The Flu...

...is terrible. That's the logical end to that sentence, and the reason why I've been markedly absent from the blogosphere. it sucks all the life out of you.

Back to School

You know that great feeling you get when you're super-excited about someting, and then how annoyed you are with all the tedious things that stand in your way?

Well if you didn't catch on by the subtle mix of title and opening sentence, that's how I feel about school. Now I know the first day back from Christmas break has been scientifically proven to be the most miserable day of the year, but this week has been remarkably boring. Economics finals and project and then I'll be out of there for good though, that's the good thing.

My dad and I went and looked at guns one day. I went with him to a shooting match, shot one round, and actually ended up really loving it, so I've been looking at perhaps getting my own gun and doing a little bit of shooting. The particular gun is a .22 Ruger Mark III Target (I won't lie, saying gun names makes me feel like the manliest man on earth). It'd be pretty good for shooting targets I think.

My birthday is coming up soon!

The Prologue

Well hello.

Possibly the worst introduction ever. Lemme try again.

Why, hello!

A bit more chipper but not quite there-ahh forget formality and I'll introduce ya the way I learned in Texas (bluntly). My names Chris (Charlemagne) and I have a Jeep (The Sarge). Together we cause mischief and mayhem in the sleepy town of Pearland TX. I'm a senior this year, and as such I've decided it's high time I get to bloggin'.

Whoa, nearly forgot to set the timer on my pizza rolls in the oven. That would've been sad.

So it's a new year, and a new semester, (and 23 days until my birthday!) and the possibilities are seemingly endless. I have to admit, I was let down by the winter weather this year. It can't seem to make up it's mind. Today it is overcast, 76 degrees, and windy. But I digress, on a more interesting note, this is the last semester of my high school career (the first time I heard someone refer to it like that I laughed, now.....not so much) and I'm really excited.

Take for example my christmas break. I've done surgery with the Sarge, gave him a bath, been to parties galore, slept in until 3, finished half the Physics 8.012 course from MIT OpenCourse, tinkered with inventions, drawn some pictures, spoken to various companies about alternative fuel, camped in Cuero, played with my new Wii (named after the sound you make playing with it) and found out that I really like shooting pistols and American Gladiator. Yea, I'm a bit of an odd kid.

So my attitude going back to school is illustrative. I can't wait for calculus (NERD), and also spring break in Hawaii (COOL). I'm excited about the second set of 8.012 (NERD), and working out in the gym (COOL). So I am in equilibrium, as everything else in the universe according to physics. I must be conserved, for every cool object there is an opposite and equal nerd object that brings me balance.

Well that appears to be quite a hello indeed. I'm delighted and excited about this blog and the rest of my life, and I could spend pages rambling about everything, but my pizza rolls are done!

Cheers,
~Charlemagne