Sunday, September 7, 2008


Preface: Ok first, before you read any of this entry make note of the time. Go ahead, look. Assuming the timestamp is correct (which it isn't always) it should say 3:28 A.M. That's right, 3:28 A.M. exists, and it's ugly. I figured I'll try something new and explain to you first where I am and then how it happened, so as to build suspense.

I'm wet, I'm shivering, and I've been jolted awake. I'm sitting at my computer trying to get warm. Now that I have you (and perhaps your sympathy, in which case sympathy cookies can be mailed to Simmons Hall with my name on them), you're chomping at the bit to know what happened. But rather than dive into let's have a fuzzy flashback to earlier this evening for the sake of contrast.

Misty, my friend from Emerson came over after I went grocery shopping. I'm in a great mood, we're laughing, watching movies, eating pizza, drinking O.J.; seriously great stuff. Eventually it's time for her to go home and it's dark outside, I hear it's cold so I give her one of my jackets. I start to walk her home and it begins to rain. swell. It's not really a big deal because I'm having such a good time with her, and to be honest it makes me look kinda macho to be walking her home while it's raining and me being soaking wet, I don't have my phone so I figure it's no big deal if I get a little wet. Then it starts to really rain and I begin to get very very wet, still not a huge deal, but Misty has her purse and her phone in it. Uh-Oh, better hurry up to the Z-center detour. We get to underneath the overhang and-- the door is locked. Wait what? Why is the door locked? They're doing construction everywhere, this is the only way to get to the student center without going all the way around. After trying to break the lock with my mind (note to self: I don't have telekinesis), we eventually have to walk all the way down to Mass Ave and around to get to la Verdes. Inside I buy my price-gouge-on-a-pole (seriously, who the heck charges $10 for a tiny umbrella? ugh.) and Misty gets an apple, things are getting better.

We decide to take the tunnels as far east as we can. I'd never actually navigated the tunnels so I was fairly uncertain of where I was going but the signs made it pretty easy, plus it was nice and warm down there. We came out at MIT medical, which is literally spitting distance from the Kendall T stop. We board the train and head for Boston.

The walk through the commons while it's raining is actually, daresay, nice. The streets and buildings look really cool disappearing into the clouds and rain. Once we get to her dorm we stay in the lobby for a few minutes while the rain dies down before I head back. I bid her farewell and head off.

The way home is long, the trains keeps making long and random stops, and walking in the rain is far less fun alone at midnight. Simmons hall has mysteriously moved in the middle of the night to be about 12 miles away from the rest of campus, but once I get there I'm free. I get out of my soaking clothes and into dry PJ's and get to bed. Sleep comes quick and I christen it a good day before drifting off to dreams.

Then things get bad, real bad, real fast.

The alarm in our room goes off as the beacon flashes. A woman's voice plays over the speaker over and over:

"There is an emergency in the building. Please head outside via the nearest stairwell, do not use the elevator"

I, with all the grace and finesse of an elephant comind down from an acid trip, put on a shirt to supplement my shorts, and a few drops of saline into my blurry eyes. I head to the stairwell dazed and confused, uncertain of what time it is, what's going on, or what I'm doing. All my floormates are similarly herding like brainwashed cattle( or Moby fans) towards the green light at the bottom of the four flights of stairs. As I get to the door out of the building I witness the worst possible scenario for something like this. It's very cold, very windy

and raining.


The second I step out the door wind whips around the corner of Simmons carrying with it both rain and what I can only suspect are the tears of my fellow residents, soaking me in ice cold sadness. I head as quickly as I can for the overhang off the side of simmons that exists for just such terrible occasions. It's full of people, who HAVE UMBRELLAS. I stand right outside the overhang, clearly miserable and shivering as a guy in a coat with an umbrella looks at me and continues to use his umbrella to shield him from nothing. Seriously? Does it make me a bad person to think that having a coat and umbrella means you should let people who don't have your place in the dry spot? Then comes the waiting:
5 Minutes- I'm shivering pretty hard now

10 Minutes- I'm very much awake and aware of how much it sucks to be outside in the rain while it's cold.

20 Minutes- I'm searching the crowd for a virgin to sacrifice and appease the angered gods.

30 Minutes- Appeasement is futile. God has forsaken Simmons Hall.

45 Minutes- Fireman tells us we're clear to go back in. It was all a false alarm, someone was smoking in the gym.

Let me repeat that. An MIT student, arguably one of the smartest people in the country, was smoking in a room that is very clearly FILLED with smoke detectors. What did they think was going to happen?

That brings me to where I am now, cold, wet, and stalking facebook profiles to find out who lives near the gym who also smokes....


KelseyK said...

Hm. Yeah, I thought so. :) Yea for Tropical Storm Hanna! Okay, not so much.

I'm sorry you had such a bad evening/morning... If it makes you feel any better, I sat in a room for eight hours straight trying to figure out how to do basic algebra...

Jeremy said...

Just a little secret that you might hate me for telling you. If you came around to the other side of Simmons you would have been almost completely shielded from the wind and rain. I picked up on this about half way through, and was greatly rewarded.

The overhang thing is funny actually, now that you mention it. There were a bunch of people huddling under the overhang on the other side with umbrellas and coats as well, but they were really really dumb, because a lot of them were standing there with their protective items right under the part where all the run-off was dripping, thinking they were doing a pretty great darn job keeping dry or something.

Yep, your day definitely sucked more than mine.

Anonymous said...

Heh, "ice cold sadness."

As for "An MIT student, arguably one of the smartest people in the country, was smoking in a room that is very clearly FILLED with smoke detectors." - well, expect that to happen at least 5 more times this year.

You haven't experienced anything until you've experienced a fire alarm at 3 in the morning smack dab in the middle of Finals Week. :p

Viva said...

"I, with all the grace and finesse of an elephant comind down from an acid trip"

i laughed for a good 5 minutes on that one.

and it wasn't me, i promise!

Michael said...

Aww, that sucks man. :( Back when I lived at Burton-Conner, they installed a new fire alarm system in the entire building and tested it for HOURS every day for a MONTH. And then once they were done testing it, it would go off pretty much any time someone even boiled water or took a deep breath, particularly around the 3:28am timeframe, and IN THE DEAD OF WINTER.

I now hate that voice...whenever I hear "Attention please..." my natural instinct is to put on pants, grab a jacket, run down the hall and yell ZOMGWTF WHO THE HELL BURNT THEIR TOAST THIS