Thursday, July 31, 2008

BLAST FROM THE PAST!: Retro-blog

Ok first some back-story:

I have a few fake teeth (three on the bottom row of my mouth to be exact). Some kids were admiring the low hum a metal plumbing pipe made when they swung it around and I got to close. I believe it went like this:

"WHEEWHUM"

*giggle giggle*

"Hey kids, that's an interesting demonstration of open pipe harmonics you hav--WHEWHACK!"

right in the mouth, and presto! my teeth were gone.(That'll teach you to try and explain resonance to kids with pipes)*

anyway, the first dentist I went to denied that there was anything that could be done for the gaping maw in my gums (seriously, think toothpicks in a jello-mold)

Actual photo. (of someone else)

so I wrote a bitter poem about him to make light of the situation and distract myself from the horrid pain. I posted it on another one of my older blogs, but it's kinda funny so I thought I'd repost it here. Without further adieu:

"the story of the retarded dentist done in the style of Dr.Seuss"


there once was a dentist
or so he claimed to be
though after my visit
i cant say i agree

through forests of papers
inquiring who where and why
mothers maiden name?
I fill out with a sigh

at last i'm seen
though thats about it
i wait in a chair
frankly its bull....well you know

a 10 second x-ray
and the dentist reveals
i'm imagining the pain
it just can't be real.

well that cant be true
i say im in pain
though i suppose he knows me
better than my own brain

he says he could fix it,
but decides that he will not
i think he's got dumb
i think he has a lot

so i leave the poor man
i pity him thats true
for it must be hard to live
with the I.Q. of a shoe.

To another dentist I'll go
though before I do
im tempted to play a round
of quaint peek-a-boo

Goodbye retard dentist
I'm tempted to shout
and add "dont forget"
"its breathe in then breathe out"

~Chris


*it was actually an accident. They felt bad and horrified as I bled profusely.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ouch, I imagine that to be horrible! Well, I'm a MIT '13 hopeful and, by as a somewhat obsessed blog reading kid that jumps from paul to snively to you, I think your blog is great. I hope you're selected to write on the MIT admissions page!

[read: not a stalker]

p.s. maybe somebody has told you this before, but you kind of look like jim sturgess . . .

Michael said...

REPOST!

FreeBird said...

dr. who?
well, i mean not Dr. Who, but..... oh never mind.
What i meant to say was
"That poem is freaking brilliant!"
Yes, yes.
Genius can come from tragedy.
Sorry about your tooth though. I'm not that fond of dentists either.
Just between you and me, I think they're only in it for the money. ;)