BLAST FROM THE PAST!: Retro-blog

Ok first some back-story:

I have a few fake teeth (three on the bottom row of my mouth to be exact). Some kids were admiring the low hum a metal plumbing pipe made when they swung it around and I got to close. I believe it went like this:

"WHEEWHUM"

*giggle giggle*

"Hey kids, that's an interesting demonstration of open pipe harmonics you hav--WHEWHACK!"

right in the mouth, and presto! my teeth were gone.(That'll teach you to try and explain resonance to kids with pipes)*

anyway, the first dentist I went to denied that there was anything that could be done for the gaping maw in my gums (seriously, think toothpicks in a jello-mold)

Actual photo. (of someone else)

so I wrote a bitter poem about him to make light of the situation and distract myself from the horrid pain. I posted it on another one of my older blogs, but it's kinda funny so I thought I'd repost it here. Without further adieu:

"the story of the retarded dentist done in the style of Dr.Seuss"

there once was a dentist
or so he claimed to be
though after my visit
i cant say i agree

through forests of papers
inquiring who where and why
mothers maiden name?
I fill out with a sigh

at last i'm seen
though thats about it
i wait in a chair
frankly its bull....well you know

a 10 second x-ray
and the dentist reveals
i'm imagining the pain
it just can't be real.

well that cant be true
i say im in pain
though i suppose he knows me
better than my own brain

he says he could fix it,
but decides that he will not
i think he's got dumb
i think he has a lot

so i leave the poor man
i pity him thats true
for it must be hard to live
with the I.Q. of a shoe.

To another dentist I'll go
though before I do
im tempted to play a round
of quaint peek-a-boo

Goodbye retard dentist
I'm tempted to shout
and add "dont forget"
"its breathe in then breathe out"

~Chris

*it was actually an accident. They felt bad and horrified as I bled profusely.